Kurt,are you cold my beloved son? Are you at rest from the burden of life? Is it is as is said that you know nothing and you are at peace? Then my love is selfish, cos I want you here my son Here: To hug you. You have more girth now than at 3years old but this is how it was then To get your kisses, oh my heart overflowed, To hear you call out mama when you come home, how my heart overflowed, To listen to your laughter, it is so infectious To converse with you, you are so easy on the ears, To listen to your voice, great tone and so pleasant, To listen to your dreams, you are so hopeful To listen to your jokes, you are so witty, so comical To listen to you speak of your children, you are so proud To listen to you read your poems, so much emotion, To listen to you speaking in spanish, so authentic! To watch you watch me (am I asleep or watching the film?) To cook for you, it gives me so much pleasure, To watch you eat, you show that your palette is pleased!!, To watch you sleep, you are so beautiful at rest, To see you awake, you are so instantly alert, To watch you walk, such long strides, so purposeful, To watch you comb your beautiful hair, so much of it, To watch you pose after dressing, Oh Yes I agree, a perfect specimen... To tell you again how much I Love you To tell you again how my heart overflows to have you HERE with me. Mama xxx Oh son how do i go on with out you? My beloved, you gave me the first experience of motherhood, bringing a life into the world and then you give me the first experience of the absence of life, your absence, My baby, my firstborn. I say your name and speak of you daily. I listen to your voice and I know why iam able to smile is that I feel you beside me. I remember things you did and laugh out loud. You said I was normality away from the madness. I comfort myself that you lived your life. You had fun. You drank champagne and ate Sushi! You kissed the girls Kurt, all that you meant to me is what gives me comfort. Love Always & Forever my baby, my firstborn my beloved son Mama xxx